It’s something everyone does. You’re too busy (or untalented) to cook (microwave) at home and you need to eat to feel good. What do you do? Hit up the _______ down the street and pig out. Nearly everyone says fast food is disgusting, horrible for you, terrible, but everyone eats it. So, which restaurant would you be least unhappy about being caught dead in?The first company making a hard run at celebrity endorsements and health consciousness is Subway, who enlisted nearly every rookie sport star, Olympic star, NASCAR driver to say that their sandwich artists were making unbelievable slabs of bread and meat on the cheap. People eat there to feel a little bit better about themselves, and I fucking hate subs because you know McNuggets taste better than any kind of sub. Subway is making an inroads with bumping up their job titles for employees and spending all those dollars advertising, but I don’t think it’s making anyone like them more. Sandwich artists? You serious?
Next, all those pizza places. Everyone has their favorite, but will eat anything if it’s paid for. Pizza places are utilized by everyone, usually last minute. People go to their local Pizza Hut because their manager has specially made pizzas that you can only get there, and you’re both tight. Only problem is the going rate for a 16″ stuffed crust is a fucking kidney. Not to mention that shit is terrible for you. There is such a thing as a too-social food, and that is pizza. People don’t notice how much they eat until it’s too late.
Chicken places. KFC is and always will be reigning champion of chicken. The sides…incredible. The biggest source of saturated fat in human history, but the protein in chicken is off the fucking charts. Only eat there after you’ve weightlifted till failure. Chicken joints are the second best places to hang out and eat. Everyone loves ripping a bird apart and eating it.
That leaves burger joints. Burger King just opened a restaurant slash bar in Miami, and it’s too premature to tell whether it’s as good an idea in real life as it is on paper or in mind. With that in limbo, the cake has to go to McDonalds. Everyone talks garbage on McDonalds, but the fact is they had Michael Jordan endorsing it, and they are the official food of Olympians. Everyone eats McDonalds. Since they’ve been around forever, and still clearly own no matter how deadly their grub, I’d eat at McDonalds over anywhere else.
I know you tools like In-N-Out because old people that used to be good actors and actresses finally discovered it (you never watched Lebowski?), but they are overhyped and give the cold shoulder to the east coast. At least Five Guys knew what the hell they were doing.
Tags: Burger King, diet, fast food, McDonalds, Popeyes, Subway
